Midterm Elections

Before you vote tomorrow ask yourself one question; why are corporations all across America supporting the Republicans by a ratio of 10 to 1? I'm sure Goldman Sachs and Exxon Mobile are very concerned about working people and the middle class. Break out of your amnesia and vote Democratic on November 2. They ain't perfect, but they do believe in evolution.

Arizona

What kind of brains do Republicans' possess? Governor Jan of Arizona is a total moron. Most Mexican immigrants are running drugs? No statistics to back up her lies. Why do we show respect to such fools. She's as dumb as Sean Hannity. Make it up is the conservative way. Anything to get elected. I thought it was freedom for all, not freedom for Jan and the select few.

Vacation in the Gulf of Mexico

Let's vacation in the Gulf of Mexico. Rates haven't been this low since George W. Bush and Katrina. Enjoy Sperm Whales mating in the dead, oily red waters of the Gulf. Hear the dying songs of marsh birds. Collect sea turtle shells on the tide lines from Louisiana to Florida. Take a ride on a British Petroleum Submarine named, "The Dead Dolphin." Observe the dead sea life 5000 feet below the surface. View the beauty of 3 million gallons of oil escaping into the gulf waters each day. Call BP to reserve your spot now while the oceans are still alive.

Where's Your Papers?

Travel Security Warning: If you are white and visiting Arizona it is strongly recommended that you stay out of the sun. A tan can be extremely dangerous to your freedom. If you are Hispanic, visiting or living in Arizona, you'd better run. Governor Jan Brewer, the police and senior citizens with cowboy hats are not your friends.

Obamacare Won Boehnercare Zero!

I'm glad to see that health care reform has passed. It's far from perfect, but it's a lifeline for millions. What's troubling me is John Boehner of Ohio, the Republican House leader. He made the following statement: "The Democrats have betrayed Moses with their vote." At first I thought John stated that Obama was Moses, but I was mistaken. If you have any clue on what Moses has to do with health care reform, let me know.

Health Care Passes

With Republican conservatives it's all about I, me and my insecurity. Keep this in mind as you try to understand their attitudes toward health care reform.

Let's start with Michael Tanner, a senior fellow at the conservative CATO Institute. Mr. Tanner incorrectly stated that President Obama's plan for overhauling the health care system has a great deal in common with the Sopranos. Did he mean to say that the insurance gangsters operate in more cities than the public option? Oh I forgot; there is no public option.

Michael Goodwin, a writer for the New York Post, wants President Obama arrested for selling snake oil. It's a felony to insure millions of Americans that have no health insurance? I think Michael's been drinking his own venom. Jonah Goldberg, an amateur paleontologist on the right, claims Obamacare can "trace its roots back to the Mesozoic Era." The first mammals had universal health care? Conservative primates must have been reasonable in past eras.

Monica crybaby Crawley claims that health care reform is a dead horse. Too bad the horse had a pre-existing condition and couldn't get any health care coverage. He might have been saved. Maybe the horse lost its coverage when it got sick? We will never know if we don't pass health care reform. I forgot, The House passed it. In the distance I hear Monica crying.

I have come to the conclusion that you can't have an intelligent debate with people who equate health care for all Americans with criminal activity, snake oil and dead horses. To paraphrase Bob Dylan, conservatives can't be this way everywhere. Wayne McPartland